Saturday, June 30, 2007

Feeling a little nastolgic today

This morning as I was cruising around YouTube I came across one of my favorite Strong Bad emails of all time…it’s a classic and everyone should love it the way I do…

I mean really…if you don’t love Strong Bad, you must be a communist!
Thanks to HomeStarRunner for producing such a trend setter as Strong Bad

Friday, June 29, 2007

Daaa na na na Spida Maaaaan


That’s right…Spida Maaaan is back and he’s got a hankerin for some Oxycontin. It seems that we’ve got a Spidy fan out there that has attempted one too many of his own stunts and needs a little help with the pain. So he does what any true Spidy fan would do…hold up the nearest pharmacy wearing his Spidy mask to conceal his secret identity…
Thanks to for bringing us this tale

Behind Door #1

Things got a little overwhelming on days 3-5. For some reason I just didn’t get things done as quickly as I had planned. I think it was due to the multiple trips I had to make to the that giant home store…you know the one I’m talking about, they seem to like ORANGE quite a bit. So yeah, after numerous trips to multiple locations of this store in an attempt to locate the various pieces I needed to complete my plan, I simply ran out of time. So rather than completing all of my devious schemes I only accomplished 75% of them.
On day 3 I found some lovely parting gifts under the washer and dryer though. I swear that as I pulled the washer out from it’s little cubby hole of a closet, I could hear dear old Wink declaring “And behind Door #1 IS”
A lovely pair of mismatched socks COVERED in dryer lint, and only God knows what (and yes…those are the wayward socks that you can barely make out just under the water lines, now you know where to look the next time you lose one of the two)

And behind door #2 we have?
MORE LINT…that’s right you’ve won a life time supply of old dryer lint…aren’t you lucky! You’ll also notice that you’ve won a gaping hole in the drywall…

Aren’t they great? Gifts from the previous owner and tenants of our wonderful home. I better clarify a little before Wife takes it upon herself to skin me alive for posting these for everyone to enjoy. We bought our home from a woman that I honestly don’t believe cleaned anything. On top of this she had rented it out to another woman who I know DIDN’T clean a damn thing in the house, EVER! She left everything filthy, cat pee soaked and smelly. When we took ownership as renters we scrubbed and cleaned and bleached everything we could think of…unfortunately this area escaped our gaze. Even when we purchased the place and went through all the renovations last year, this area once again escaped our attention. Not the best excuse, but an excuse none the less.
Days 4 & 5 didn’t bring me lovely parting gifts like day 3, but it did bring me a nice coat of fresh new paint…officially turning this last refuge of the previous owner and renters to an end…THANK GOD…
This is the new laundry area…
The glow isn’t over exposure from the camera…it’s the divine glow of the clean and freshly painted closet…you mean you didn’t know that God is in a coat of fresh paint? Well now you do…so go forth and paint my children…paint…

This is our sweet new fan, purchased from the giant Orange store for a whopping $49.99. What do you get for this great value you ask? Well you get two scratched fan blades and 3 burned out light bulbs out of 4…such a value I don’t know how I will ever be able to move on.
I only wish that I had a camera when Wife came home on Wednesday. It was a glorious sight as she walked in on an entry way missing all of it’s tile. That picture would have been priceless, and would most likely have brought me fame and fortune…but I didn’t and now I’m the only one that gets to experience that image. I like to think that I made an impact that day…one that says don’t ever leave me alone for more than a day, if you do, you never know what you might come home to find.
Thankfully all that is left of our great remodel is door casing and some base board. The slate entry is ready to be put down and some hardwood laminate to finish off the office and the house is officially finished…but that’s for another day…

Monday, June 25, 2007

Day 2

Thank God today is done…Can I just say that I absolutely HATE, and I mean HATE plaster work. Hours of thinning joint compound and then rolling it on the walls or splotching it on the ceiling. Had I been smart about this I would have rented a texture sprayer, but that wouldn’t build character now would it.

I also took some time to get the old nasty tile chipped out while the finish coat of joint compound dried this morning. I’m not sure how well the slate is going to go down with all the old thinset still on the concrete, but there’s no way I’m chipping all that out…what a pain in the ass that would be.

So now that the dirty work is done it’s time to start painting…but that’s tomorrow’s job.
While I was attempting to cover the walls and ceiling with texture I kept thinking about how my brothers and I were constantly being placed into situations that help grow character. What I mean by this is that my parents for one reason or another felt it necessary to build a new house every 3 or 4 years, and to help us grow character they turned us into their own little sweat shop day laborers. I mean really, how many contractor hours they must have saved with their version of cheap labor. However, had it not been for Mom and Dad ignoring the vast number of child labor laws, there is absolutely no way I would be capable of pulling these jobs off. So I guess there was character to be built along with the houses after all, and thanks owed to Mom and Pop for sending it my way.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Surprise Surprise

So it’s been a year since we first started renovating our house…did I mention that we took the winter off even though all we had left from last summer’s projects were to paint some door jambs, doors and the entry? Yeah, we’re a bunch of lazy bastards…So here it is a year later and mere thought of these unfinished products just makes me itchy…and I say itchy because that’s how the noise in my head manifests itself when it has filled every square inch of gray matter to the point that my head is about to explode into a gooey mess. The other problem is that when the noise gets to this level of crazy loud it begins to stretch out its little tentacles, searching for any other little issue that it can grasp and then adds it to itself and cranks up the volume another few decibels. What’s been added to the already deafening roar in my head lately? Oh, only our unfinished office/laundry room and nasty entry tile floor.

The best part of this deal is that Wife left this morning to attend a convention in Colorado through Wednesday. She attempted to woo me into attending the convention with her, but the thought of spending nearly a week with a bunch of drunken convention goers just didn’t sound like my kind of scene. Plus I have the noise to deal with and what a better weekend to do than this…Wife out of town and I have the next five days off…perfect for a little noise control if I do say so myself. Even better than that is that Wife has no clue as to what I’m up to…happy early anniversary…

On the list for this week…dry wall, plaster, painting, painting and more painting…oh and a sweet ass new slate floor in the entry…ah yeah

Take Anything You Want…1 & 2 & 3

VERY strange video from Japan…

I found this little gem while cruising YouTube tonight. It’s a video/workout that teaches Japanese women English so when they’re mugged on vacation they have something to say. Very strange indeed…

Friday, June 22, 2007

Shaaaad up and get me another one

Interesting trends they have in Japan… The TV commercial is a MUST see

Thanks to: CScout Japan

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Oh SO Wrong

And yet I can’t seem to look away….
Thanks to:
Bizaare News

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Too Lame to be EMO

So today I came across a pretty sweet website
That’s when I stumbled across this “too lame to be emo”
This whole thing reminds of one of my wife’s posts: Good Lord

What The FETCH

Earlier this week I was staring blankly into the bathroom mirror in an attempt to psych myself up for yet another fun filled day at work when I noticed something. Not the bags under my eyes or that extra 50 pounds sagging from my 30 year old frame, but a bright white beacon of old age sticking proudly out of my top lip. So it was true after all, that flicker of silver that I had noticed in my mustache over the past few weeks really was, a gray hair…Not a happy little blond one that seems to pop up fromtime to time, no no that would be fine, this one just HAD to be gray.

So why the freak out over one little gray hair? well…it’s probably due to what I didn’t notice in the mirror…you know, the 50, hell who am I kidding, more like 70-80 extra pounds. It seems to me that the past 10 years have not been the best to me and I have not been the best to myself. I remember in high school vowing to never let my ass grow to the size it is now…there’s no chance in hell that will ever happen I used to think. Oh how naive of me, refusing to accept that one day I too was going to have to join the real world, where everyone knows it would most likely require the use of an office chair and a computer for at least 6 of the 8 painful hours a day. For those of you out there that don’t understand let me clarify, an office chair equals at least 40 pounds added to your ass as soon as it touches it for the first time. Throwing a computer in front of it adds another 40. So lets say that I’ve been glued to an office chair and computer for 7 out of the last 10 years, just imagine the enormity that it has grown into. It has been growing and growing until it has reached the Jupiterisch size it is today. And I say Jupiterisch to better grasp the sheer size and weight that it is. So there you go world…I’m a fatty, a big ole stereotypical American fatty.

But you see this is where that gray hair comes into play. That one little gray hair has helped me to notice those things that I have been over looking for the past 10 years. Things like my weight and image, my lack of energy and just how lazy I’ve become. That gray hair has helped to spur me into action, to let me know that hey pal, you’re 30 now…not the end of the world, but the way that you are heading it very well could be, perhaps it’s time to do something about that extra tonnage. So here I am, the first week of a new beginning. And man o man let me tell you how it sucks. I am not a fan of healthy items, I never was, so how it was possible to stay in shape throughout my high school years is news to me. But I’m still here, bound and determined that this is the time and this is the place that my ass will no longer cling to the office chair and I will return to a healthy weight.
You know it’s funny…it’s not the deformity in one of my heart valves that plagues me from time to time that has spurred this motivation, it was a pointless gray hair.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Sometimes I wonder

Who put the “Ram” in Ramalamadingdong?
And just what the hell is a Ramalamadingdong?
And just why the hell does it need a barn yard animal?

Brave New World

So the wife and I have been contemplating this whole blog thing for the past few months. When I say the past few what I really mean is like the last 8 or so. It seems to me that the more technology that Wife and I get thrown at us, the more we seem to slow down. For example, we just got DVR service at the end of last summer, God only knows what we were thinking for the many moons before that, back when we had rummage through our moldly old porn stash for a blank video tape to record something really important like “New Yankee Workshop”. So when we finally decided to take the plunge and start up a couple of different sites (1 for her, 1 for me and 1 for my pseudo hobby hoping to turn profession) we had absolutely no idea what we were getting into.

It seems to me that the wife and I do this fairly regularly…find a new outlet for all the noise inside our heads and run in that direction. One day it’s listening to carefully compiled play lists on my ipod. Other days it’s going to the gym to run the noise down like stationary bike road kill…all this while trying to avoid the crotch shot from the overly muscular woman on the kegelsizor I might add. And then there are the other days when it’s talking to myself in the car, totally oblivious to the passing cars dialing 911 because it’s obvious that I’m an escaped mental patient who has gone way too long without his meds. So when Wife suggested that we start blogging, I thought of it as a way to get rid of the noise in a more healthy way…by placing it on the internet. Yeah… that totally makes sense to me too. But the more I thought about it the more it actually began to make sense. In today’s world where there is no privacy in anything…why fight it? So we climbed aboard, flung open the windows and let the weirdo’s take a peek. what a better way to get out the noise than to just post it and forget it. Someone doesn’t like it, tough titties says I. At least my head is clear enough to remember my meds for once.