Thursday, July 10, 2008


One of the lovely perks of my job is that I have to purchase items from the local WalMart that I normally would never purchase in my life. I enjoy the looks that I receive from the abundant population of white trash and complete red necks that inhabit this town, as I merrily stroll down the aisles or through the checkout line.

But yesterday really made me laugh. My company runs a promotion where we give out a certain teenage oriented movie that I personally have never seen, and nor do I think that I will ever see. You know the one I’m talking about…the one where everyone is sooooo happy to be in high school and all they do is sing and dance and apparently take naked pictures of themselves…yeah…that’s the one. Ok fine, it’s “High School Musical” there you made me say it, can I get on with it now? So we give out part 2 to this movie to every teenager that graces our doors as it was filmed in the area here and it’s supposed to be good marketing. How deceiving the teens of America into believing that high school is made up of well behaved, groomed, singing and dancing kids who all get along and love each other is new to me but hey…I’m sure this kind of school actually exists somewhere out there, right? right? Yeah probably not.

But I digress…so here I am with 10 copies of this movie standing in the express checkout line at the local WalMart in my dress shirt and slacks while I get eye balled by the redneck construction worker in front of me. I finally make it to the register where the clerk rings the movies up and I hand over the cash. At which point she looks at the movies, then at me and then holds the bill up to the light to make sure that it’s authentic. Yeah, that makes sense…the redneck construction worker who paid for his doughnuts, mountain dew and like 5 red bulls with a 100 dollar bill passes the initial inspection without a second thought or bill check, but me…well I have got to be a counterfeiter because no one in their right mind would try to buy that many teenie bopper movies with cash and not be a criminal. She totally caught me…the closet teenie bopper movie freak who spends his evenings cranking out fake 50’s on his computer while dancing around to the sounds of his favorite Disney musical…I am sooooo busted!

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